Just some random thoughts

Red wine headache today - not good. I'm staying at my favourite hotel in Leith and went over to Michael & Christophe's last night. We had a great time, but my head hurts today...

Had a heck of a journey up yesterday: an hour and half queuing on the M25 at the Dartford river crossing, because the southbound bridge was closed due to the wind, and so the two tunnels, usually for northbound traffic only, were being shared. Instead of being very early this was going to make be about on time for my first appointment. I made up time on the A1, then discovered the Forth Bridge was closed and diversions via the Kincardine Bridge were going to delay me about an hour. So from about an hour and half early at 7am, by 5pm I was going to be an hour late. As it turned out the Forth Bridge, when I got to it, was open again, and the rest of the evening went smoothly.

There is something seriously wrong when you pass a petrol station with diesel at 113.9p and think, "Oh, must remember that one, it's quite reasonably priced."

I realise the irony of what I have written above: it is perhaps Better For The Planet that fuel prices should be high, and the fact that they haven't been, historically, may account for the type of weather that closes motorway bridges up and down the land.

Oh, apparently there is a Surf Bus which leaves London at 5.30pm every Friday in summer heading for Cornwall.

Rainbows at Murrayfield

This isn't going well is it? I suppose the weather and home ground is favouring the Scots, but it has to be admitted they are the better side. Currently SCO 12-3 ENG.

Watching in HD and Dolby Stereo is nice now the lounge is pretty much reconstructed.

Last night I logged on to BBC News and found a banner ad (for Shell) at the top of the page. It's not there today, and I didn't imagine it! It was directly below the grey BBC links at the very top. I'm in a hotel so maybe that has something to do with it - although as I say it's not there any more, and I'm still in the hotel...

The town I was in on Valentine's night, by the way, was St Albans. I was there again recently, parked in a designated space, but someone parked behind me (I was in the last official space but the white lines painted in the road were pretty faint, it was night-time and the street lightling isn't very good) and the wardens pounced again.

Got a parking fine myself at the weekend, in Salisbury. I had put the ticket correctly in the car, but went out to get something from the back and it must have been slamming the boot that flipped it over. £30 thank you very much.

Vicky Pollard meets The West Wing

As I wandered this morning down a long Devon hotel corridor, illuminated every couple of metres by bright overhead spots leaving defined pools of light on the carpet, I overheard the West Country tones of a maid on the phone through an open bedroom door: "... and I told 'er to get BONgella ...", with the emphasis on the first syllable.

Priorities wrong

The Home Secretary has announced that "police in England and Wales are to have targets on minor offences relaxed" so that they can concentrate on violent, particulalrly knife, crime, according to BBC News. This is not the way to do it. Yes, increase the spending on dealing with violent crime: add the metal detectors and do the advertising. But not at the expense of the ordinary, everyday policing: the traffic offences, the anti-social behaviour, the burglaries.

Here's a radical idea: spend more.

A memorable Valentine's gift

In the centre of a market town in southern England there is a road. Well, it has many of the features you would expect of a road: it is tarmaced; cars drive along it; it has pavements with kerbs. But apparently it is not a road.

Last Thursday evening, at around nine o'clock, two uniformed traffic wardens were industriously writing out parking tickets for four cars, all sensibly and safely parked along the edge of this street. They had their little digital camera, flashing away to prove that they really had stuck the notices on the windscreens. I got into 'conversation' with them, because I wanted to park there too. I was told that this is not a road, at least in terms of parking: it is a footpath. I laughed a little, pointing to the features I described earlier. But no, if I parked there I too would be ticketed. I ventured that this was clearly a nice little earner for [nameless town] - build a thing that looks like a road, then fine people for parking along it. I got a shrug.

A little while later, as I was working nearby, I watched a young couple return to one of the cars. He had to hold and comfort her for a few moments after they discovered the fine. Maybe it doubled the cost of their Valentine's night out. I didn't watch for the other owners.

Atchoo!

So many poofs and dykes in Sainsburys this evening - I'm not sure but I'm beginning to think Croydon is developing a disproportionately large concentration.

I was in a branch of Sainsburys about a hundred miles from here the other day watching three security guards standing quite menacingly in the entrance to the shop, hands in pockets and chewing gum. I thought that was just a one-off, a rogue store; but tonight in Croydon the guard was filling up the soft drinks fridge. Slipshod management attitudes will lead to more crises for that retailer, mark my words.

We had a really nice time down in Salisbury between Christmas and just after New Year when we came back for work. Lampshade shopping featured prominently one day, I recall. Steve cooked I think every day we were down, battling some of the time with a nasty cold, so he did rather well. But it was a good break from the routine.

I have that cold now.

Our shower packed up soon after we came back in the New Year, and until an engineer from Triton turns up in two weeks time we are having to have baths each morning, which isn't ideal from economic or time management viewpoints. So today we have bought a temporary rubber hose shower attachment for the bathroom sink taps; I'll let you know how we get on with it, in case you care.

Well we bought some Prosecco while we were out so in a bit we'll stick our new Simpsons movie (thanks Geoff) on and drift into a nice Saturday evening haze.

Happy Christmas

It's Christmas, and I hope wherever you are, you're having a good time. Yesterday on the day itself there were eight of us around a big table at Roxana's just after one o'clock, starting a lazy six-hour lunch, prepared, expertly cooked and beautifuly served by Steve.

Ian, who's been down a few days already; Roxana herself, just back from two shifts at work (Midnight Mass then the Christmas morning service); Mum and Dad, picked up by me as the time to the first course ticked away; Duncan, picked up by me with time really running out; Geoff, too excited to resist already opening half his presents; Steve, territorial in the kitchen; and me, table-assembler-and-decorator-in-chief.

Lunch was interrupted by the Queen, then later by present opening. If you are reading this then my new very slim very sexy mobile phone is doing its job of allowing me to update my blog remotely.

I also got some books and other lovely things, and Steve is delighted with his new leather jacket.

The day passed in a fuggy haze of good food, good wine and good conversation, just the way Christmas Day ought to.

Johnny J-Cloth unmasked

It's been a long time, my little internet stalkers!

Tonight I'm in Solihull - and it isn't a State Secret this time! No, it's a Christmas party, and perhaps the drink has loosened the tongues. Picture the scene, if you will: I'm sitting on a table at the side of the room, swinging my legs to the beat of Erasure - earlier on it was a meeting room, but now it's the Christmas Party - and with the disco lights making psychedelic patterns on the floor, clashing wonderfully with the costumes (some of which really are in the spirit of the 1970s theme) two figures approach me. They will, for the purposes of this blog, remain nameless, so let's call them AF and BB. I've been watching AF and BB for some time, in a kind of alcoholic huddle on the far side of the room, beyond the parquet dance floor where the Flintstones, an (18?)70s cricket-white-clad weirdo, some super-heroes, and assorted time-travel rejects, have been strutting their stuff. They (that is to say the aforementioned AF and BB) head towards me in a slightly alarmingly direct way, and introduce themselves: "Hello," says AF, proffering his hand, "I'm Johnny." "And," says BB, giggling, "I'm J-Cloth." I take his hand, slightly unsure for a moment, and then the penny drops. These two (I never imagined 'he' was two people) are Johnny J-Cloth. So a mystery is solved. And as I stand outside in the freezing cold "'aving as fag" a little later, I slowly and painfully come to realise that I am probably the only one in the team not to have known this little secret. By the way, none of the people featured in the pictures are necessarily related to any part of the text above.

If you are unsure, as you may very well be, who Johnny J-Cloth is (as indeed I was myself until very recently), please search back through my blog. It all started on 6th November 2005, but then an entry on 28th November 2006, and a guestbook entry on 20th March 2006, and some e-mails to me directly, set up the - shall we say slightly bizarre? - character of JJC. But now I know!

And I realise now you have all missed my blog, so here it is back again.

There has been a whole cornucopia of reasons why it has been silent. It's about my mood, generally, stuff which has been going on elsewhere, and the fact that my Mum has been quite unwell recently, and this has been a huge source of worry to me. I will explain a little more about that later, but for now let me just say that she is OK, and I'm so, so grateful to my wonderful partner Steve and my two sisters who are totally on the case as far as making sure she is ok.

Anyway, what's been happening since the last update? Well, loads as it happens, some of which are listed below, and in absolutely no order of importance:

• the new series of QI started (the one we saw the last one being recorded) - yay!;
• we bought a gigantic new TV (Samsung 46 inch LCD) and have added Sky HD and a Sony PS3;
• we sold the old 'portable' (Sony 36 inch CRT) on E-bay, nearly breaking our backs delivering it to the buyer in Basingstoke;
• Steve hasn't been well, but you can read all about that on his blog;
• my new car arrived, and after exactly one week and 967 miles the clutch burned out at the entrance to the Dartford Tunnel toll booths, while I was on my way oop north, and there is a very long story about hire cars, roof bars and the AA, but I won't bore you now - suffice to say I had a crap hire car for two weeks, bu**ered my back, and I now don't trust the lovely Focus;
• there's another long story about exactly how much I hate my new car, but you, my lovely readers, will have to wait for the gory details of that too;
• Steve and I flew to Edinburgh to watch Michael and Christophe get married;
• I failed to secure tickets to an intimate Will Young gig in London - bother;
• we went to watch The History Boys (Alan Bennett's revived touring National Theatre production) in Cambridge;
• I put up curtain rails and moved kitchen units at Roxana's, helping her to make the next moves in de-Alanning her home;
• I went to the Varsity match at Twickenham with Ian, Chris and assorted others - huge fun, we (Cambridge) won 22-16, we lost one of our party on the bus later, and Ian, Steve and I had a great meal in London;
• Something Nasty happened last weekend while I was on my way to pick [someone nameless] up from Gatwick Airport - details to follow;
• [someone nameless] stayed with us over the weekend, and we took him down to the south coast on Monday - it was so great to catch up again after such a long time;
• my Mum has been into hospital twice, and whilst OK now, there's a lot of stuff which needs to be done involving my parents, and it's taking a large amount of my concentration at the moment, and a fair amount of my time;
• my nephew's wife has just produced a second baby, 9lb 5oz Luke, my fourth great-nibling.

More soon, and check this entry again for picture updates.

Let battle commence!

So the Tories have picked Boris, and Labour have Ken. This is going to be fun! I'm far more interested in watching this than any possible general election.